"The Beast of Harmala" my friend need some feedbacks

hello dear friends,

I have an american friend - Robert R. Howle - he did wrote some books and he did made also a science fiction movie - with Iclone6 I think. Can you give some critics? This would be very nice ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_3405023477&feature=iv&src_vid=8yQQsLCyOl4&v=uPaGqQ0laek ok, its not hollywod, but I hope its a cool story?

I told him also about VERVE, I'm sure it will be very fine also for his next animation backgrounds/textures or book covers/images

EDIT.

I had to edit my comment. I scrolled through the movie again. stopping here and there.
It's a real amount of work that deserves respect.
I would keep my crit from first try. Cut what's not important. focus on strong scenes and emphasis those. Avoid intermediate text.
Explain by picture.