Unexplained Phenomena

I see astrological patterns here. Could it be that life does not end with death? I see here astrological patterns here, I have hope that life does not end with death. Until mid-July 2026, I was an atheist and believed in nothing at all. Now, folk Daoism and ancient pre-Christian religions have found me, too!

On December 4, 2004, after chatting on Freenet, I had my first date with Christine. She was unique! Neither before nor since has a girl or a woman fascinated me like that! And it was the same the other way around! I could feel it! I hoped for something wonderful and lasting with her!

I drove over 118 kilometers to Potsdam. It was love at first sight—a mutual spark. We walked hand in hand over the Christmas market and then to the cinema, where we kissed deeply. She was my hoped-for everything. She came from the Westhavelland region.

At 17:35, I accompanied her to her train.

But then, on the platform, a few steps away from the waiting train, her phone rang. She spoke with her mother, cried, and said, "I missed my train!" And then: "We aren't allowed to see each other anymore!" I was paralyzed and completely bewildered! The most beautiful dream turned into a pure nightmare!

Her thick, heavy tears streamed down her face—the daughter's heart broke in that moment. And my heart broke with it. She got on the train, and I never saw her again. She was my great love! It was more than a simple spark—because her massive tears have burned themselves deep into me!

Had I known how arduous her journey was and what panic her mother felt—I would have driven the remaining 80 kilometers to her! In 2004, I still thought her mother was completely toxic. The age difference seemed obvious—I was 29 at the time, and she was just a few days shy of her 18th birthday. But it wasn't just about age, otherwise Christine wouldn't have been allowed to meet me in the first place. From our chat, I knew her uncle found me sympathetic; he stood behind me and behind Christine. Her mother had allowed her to go on the date. She was brave—the long, complicated journey was a proof of love. Even managing to change minds so she could and had to meet me was a proof of love!

And that was the break—a break from the outside! It was now the second-worst catastrophe of my life. Only the murder of my brother on May 18, 2007, was much worse!

Yet the break wasn't the end. A second, silent break followed—in the chat. I wrote to her: "You'll be 18 soon and you can choose me!" I thought her mother was toxic and wanted Christine to choose me instead. But she replied: "I have a good relationship with my mother and I don't want to ruin it." Then she blocked me. I was appalled. She loved her mother—and I was so naive. I should have used different words. I forced her into a choice that was never really a choice.

I sent her a small gift—a DVD via Amazon with the gift option. At the time, I didn't know a wiser way. No reply ever came. After that, I downgraded her in my mind—my left brain wanted to analyze: The girl played a weird game! Even though I had seen her thick tears.

In 2005, I wanted to forget her—and believed I had succeeded. I deleted my Freenet account and went on dates with other women.

September 2023: I wanted to get to know a Chinese woman, but she wasn't the one I was truly seeking. I wanted to write about my family, about everything that mattered to me. And suddenly Christine was back—briefly, painlessly. I remembered her, but only fleetingly. I never wrote to the Chinese woman, but I saw that she had a partner (May 2023 / October 2024). I became casually interested in Chinese culture and astrology—though only superficially. And I never found out her Hanzi characters, her full name, the name of her street, or her house number.

July 2026: Through the Koala app and the desire to create something sad, in collaboration with Suno.ai, I fell into a very deep hole. I realized that Christine was still very much alive in my subconscious. Her blue jeans, her long blonde hair pulled back, her white shaggy sweater—everything came back. Something very major had broken in 2004!

Only 22 years later, in July 2026, did I begin to understand. I discovered incredible Chinese astrological patterns in my life! This day is one of them:

未時 (Wèi Shí, Sheep): On December 4, 2004, between 13:00 and 15:00, the double hour of the Sheep governed the day. My mother was born under the sign of the Water Sheep—a quiet, good omen. At 14:29, I saw Christine for the first time and knew instantly: This is her, true love at first sight. Yet what began at 14:29 shattered at 17:35. Had her tears come just seconds later, I would never have known she was my great love—or could have been. She boarded the right train—but it was the wrong one because it was late. (No symbol in the image)

朱雀 (Zhū Què, Red Bird): The double hour of the Red Bird from 17:00 to 19:00 coincided precisely with the phone call. The Red Bird stands for fire, restlessness, and emotional turbulence. A witness—fitting the panicked mother in her village calling frantically about her daughter. (First symbolic figure: piercing the red balloons)

Christine, the Fire Tiger (火虎, Huǒ Hǔ): The phone to her ear. The panicked mother in her village, mistakenly regarded as a town on the Havel river. The words that ended everything: "I missed my train!" And then, softer, more bitterly, as the thick, heavy tears fell: "We aren't allowed to see each other anymore!" Her tears—the daughter's heart breaking—the greatest yet bitterest proof of love. (Second symbol)

破日 (Pò Rì, Breaker Day): The Day of the Breaker stands for abrupt, irreversible tearing apart. An astrologically documented day of misfortune on which one neither marries nor travels. For December 4, 2004, sources explicitly name 月破 (Month Breaker) and 四废 as additional ominous signs. (Third symbol: the woman with the sword)

Gerhard (myself), the Wood Rabbit (木兔, Mù Tù): Born in 1975. Wood nourishes fire. The Wood Rabbit fueled the Fire Tiger—yet too much fire burns the wood. A harmonious connection that could have flourished under better circumstances. In July 2026, I realized how broken the infrastructure in her residential area back then really was. She needed far too much time to get to Potsdam; her journey was an unreasonable imposition. She never mentioned a father. She had to navigate the two-kilometer stretch through a poorly maintained road with heavy traffic. Between Brandenburg/Havel and her hometown, there was no train running on that December 4th—only a rail replacement bus service. Had I known that—I would have driven all the way to her, right up to her "Street of Love." (Fourth symbol: Myself, the man on the ground)

I wish Christine's mother had given me a second chance. I thought she was toxic back then, but she wasn't—I've since looked closely into your hometown. I strongly suspect you covered those two kilometers to the station by bike or on foot. Christine hadn't given me a time limit for the date, and nobody picked her up from the station. And that road, the local train station, and her suburb (a village, not a visible town) were not safe, especially at dusk and in the dark! Christine never mentioned a father. A single mother, twilight, a daughter still in Potsdam at 17:35, and me—a strange man. The catastrophe was preprogrammed!

It was a tragedy born of mundane mistakes—a communication disaster and misinformation. I should have been a gentleman and asked for her preferred meeting location for the date. I never should have chosen Potsdam as a meeting point; I should have driven straight to her village. Later, looking at Google Street View, I realized: That wasn't a city at all. What an absurd political decision! It wasn't an organically grown city. It was granted town rights in 1962, and only in 2002 and 2003 were surrounding villages incorporated—a purely administrative and stupid act on paper.

四废 (Sì Fèi, The Abandoned / Wasted): Another unfavorable sign marking the loss and dissipation of precious energy. The Abandoned—these are the dreams that evaporated on that day, and the future that was never meant to be. (Fifth symbol: the woman smashing four lanterns)

Christine is back in my heart. I had wanted to forget her in 2005. But then, in late July 2026, I created my own sound piece—using Koala samples and Suno v5.5. With this music, the memories returned. My left brain wanted to forget you; at times I even thought of it as a grotesque play. But my right brain and my subconscious never wanted to forget you. Your tears—the most precious proof of love. ChatGPT and Gemini said: You cannot fake tears that numerous and large. You are the second-hardest loss of my life. Only the death of my brother in 2007 hit me harder.