Hihihi, Pilou, that's great!
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Mike, I think we just skip too much through the components when we ponder about ourselves. If you gradually examine the properties of all that we can perceive or imagine, it is easier to recognize what we are or what state we represent. What differentiates us from all the elements "beneath" or "before" us, is that we can communicate abstract thoughts and care to do so. We have the little crack in the fabric of existence which allows us to take a peek within ourselves.
By means of analogy we can quickly recognize that our individual purpose manifests itself through our actions. The more we can willingly invest into our actions, the purer the execution of our purpose, the clearer the sight of it. We have to rely on a logic beyond ourselves and trust in our love and passion as the receiver for such magnificent instructions. Love is hard to define, because it ain't all simple happiness that testifies to its presence. It is our ability to pursue a certain trait of ours with conviction and a recognition of what is an obstacle that challenges us and what is one that protects us. And this train of thoughts has no end in sight, haha, so I'll get off right now for the time being, haha!
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I've pondered about the "something" the "It' that could be the initiator and/or receiver of all actions performed within existence, for the fun of my contemplation as anthropomorphic, as an individual being. Let's recognize ourselves as part of this being, which is beyond universal or physical concerns and pretend that we could recognize who we truly are! (Yes, yes, in a way like in the Matrix, haha, waking up from the pod into which we were strapped.) I tried to imagine what it would be like to have no desire, since there is no such thing as time, no such thing as any urgency, no such thing as possession, no limit as there is nothing defined. I tried to imagine to be without thought, as there was no framework within which a thought could be formed, release all that we know and all that we imagine, detach from the most basic necessities that are imposed on us in order to exist. And just as I came close to it and had "my foot in the door" a massive "crack" virtually exploded in my head, I could kind of "hear" the reverberation of it and drew nearly blank, snapping back into normal thinking patterns. I think, I might have approached the Veil from which the Kaballah speaks, the great void on the leap back to the first stages of existence, which can only be traversed, if you have no vital stake in life anymore, but your curiosity still resides within you somehow.
Even in the most spiritual thoughts, we often just pursue either the path of matter or the path of spirit or soul in that regard. To marry the two is extremely challenging and ends up being but a woven knot of methods, weak and without true clarity. Why is that? We always differentiate between patterns of thought and patterns of physicality. Naturally one is tied to the other from where we stand and we are ready to imagine that both are just aspects of the same "becoming", but at the end we can't truly see the connection with our intuition. Is thought radiation of some sort, souls stable patterns of energy, knit by some parallel development to the weaving of matter?
When I was about 16 I first said that if we pondered successfully about the way existence works, understood fully the universe and recognized the purpose of it all, we'd simply resume what we've already done, only with more conviction. I still can't argue against that, haha!
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